March 11, 2018; Free; ICCM; Pastor Rebecca Ellenson
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. We are given the keys to the kingdom, the power to bind and loose here on earth. Our actions or inaction has indefinite consequences. Psalm 38 says, My guilt has overwhelmed me, like a burden too heavy to bear. Resentment, holding on to sin, or to injury and insult can be just as big a burden as guilt. Forgiveness works on the forgiver and the forgiven. Jesus once called Peter the Rock. And then he called him a stumbling block.
When we don’t ask for and accept forgiveness from God, from the one we’ve hurt and from ourselves, when we don’t seek reconciliation through repentance, we carry the guilt or the injury, the weight of sin. We may not recognize it at first since some of it is insignificant, small, trivial. It can be as slight as a little jab, a little insult or gossip, a snub. It can be as small as how we treat the waiter or the pulmonia driver, or someone who’s in our way. It might be as little as a joke gone wrong that offends. We hurt each other without meaning to sometimes.
Sometimes sins are more serious. There are intentionally hurtful things we say or think or do, over and over again. We carry those around too—unless we confess and repent they stay with us.
Imagine that these rocks, stones, bits of beach glass, and the brick are sins or hurts. They could be the ones we’ve done to others or the ones done to us, it doesn’t matter. They’re all different.
Imagine that this bag represents the ways we carry our sin or injury or guilt around with us.
These little ones are harsh words, irritating glances, white lies, tossing trash a bit of trash on the ground, overconsuming, wasting resources. Not so big a deal right. Can’t even feel them, at first. But keep adding them and the bag gets heavier.
These medium rocks are a bit more serious: hurtful things said to a spouse or a child, a lie that’s not so little, dishonest gain, ignoring the needs we could meet, polluting and ruining the air or water we all need. Especially if these are repeated over and over, they can cause real damage. Even if they’re not discovered, it can be hard to carry them.
Now there are the big rocks. Sins that obviously matter, actions that would get us fired if they were discovered, some might be criminal. Some represent fundamental violations of trust that if found out could lead to divorce or the loss of a friendship. Whew, it’s heavy now.
Those who seek forgiveness and those who seek to forgive carry a heavy burden. Every unclean thought, harsh word, neglect of doing the right thing or going further and doing the wrong thing, they’re all there, creating a wider gap between us and God, between us and our fellow human beings. They kill our joy and sap our strength.
Fortunately, we are given the keys to the kingdom, the power to forgive, to be free and to set free. Throughout the scriptures God says, Let me lift that burden. Here, let it go and start over. God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. God does not deal with us according to our sins, or repay us according to our failures. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is Gods love to us, as far as the east is from the west, so far God removes our burdens from us.
What did the angel say to Joseph before his son was born? He will be called Jesus, which means savior, for he will save people from their sins. Everywhere he went he restored sinners to a life of joy and community and health, pointed to forgiveness as the way to full and abundant life. God has already forgiven us and just waits for us to turn, to repent, to walk back into the loving arms of grace.
Repentance, turning around from the sin, begins with awareness of the gap that sin creates. I can’t get close to anyone with this burden in the way. As I said it doesn’t matter if I’m the one who needs to forgive or the one who needs to be forgiven. It blocks connection, joy, life.
Think about it—has anyone here been on the giving or receiving side of a cold shoulder or a silent treatment? What about getting even? Anyone ever feel like making it right through vengeance? An eye for an eye just makes the whole world blind right? Anyone here ever judge others for their actions, taking that superior stance of self-righteousness?
Until there’s awareness and acknowledgement, a boundary stands like a stone wall made of sin. All it takes is honest awareness, recognition and leaving the burden with God. (drop the weight) I can breathe again, I’m free, I feel like I could fly. When we become aware of the weight of sin and confess we can run and not be weary we can walk and not faint. True repentance is the heartfelt recognition of what we’ve done wrong. It can also be recognition of the weight of injury we have been bound to. Repentance is active, it requires us to leave the weight. It’s tempting to pick it up again, to nurse and old wound, or carry an old shame. But the choice is ours. We can carry the past, we can be bound by it, or we can let go and be set free.
You’ve all heard the saying forgive and forget—I think it should be forgive and choose not to remember. In Jeremiah 31: 31-34 God says, I will make a new agreement with my people. I will write my laws in their hearts. They will all know me and I will forgive their sins. I will remember their sins no more.
Some of you live in grace. You know this lesson and have learned to live in grace. You can examine your day or your week or your life, turn the sins over to God and live free of them. Some of you carry heavy burdens from the past. God already knows, as the prophet said. You know O Lord. All God wants is for you to let them go. The process begins with awareness, acknowledgement and remorse. You might just say. “God forgive me. I am sorry. Make me know, give me strength to let go and follow you.”
We all accumulate little pebbles every day. Sometimes we think we’re intentionally being wounded when the other person doesn’t mean a thing by it. How do we practice letting go? Peter asked Jesus a question—how many times do we need to forgive? Seven times? The answer was no—70 times 7. I suspect Peter was ticked off at his brother Andrew, or his friends James and John. We’re to let go of the little pebbles, and even the bigger rocks. Our lives, as followers of Jesus are meant to be characterized by grace and forgiveness. We’re to say, “You’ve wronged me and I could hold on to my anger, demanding some sign, some justification, but I choose to let it go and not be ruled by it anymore.”
How do we do that, Adam Hamilton, a United Methodist Pastor of a very large church in the United States, suggests a three-process. RAP. Remember your own shortcomings. When someone offends you, stop and ask, how many times have you done something similar. If someone cuts me off in traffic I can feel irritated. Then if I remember how impatient a driver I am, my frustration diminishes if not disappearing altogether.
The next step is to Assume the best of the other person. This involves putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes, imagining who they are, what challenges they struggle with, what burdens they bear.
The third step is to pray for them. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies. Paul tells us the same message in Romans. Something like this works “God, you know. You know what the other person is facing, their circumstances. She seems stressed. At the end of her rope. Please bless her and use me to bless her too. It can become almost a game. How can I sincerely help this situation? God, use me in this place, now. Show me the opportunities to let go and love.
Forgiving is not the same as condoning. It just means that we’re letting go, letting go of the right to get even, letting go of the vision of the other person groveling at our feet. We just let go of the pain, the weight of sin that bears down on us. The more serious the wound the longer the process may take. But, failure to forgive gives power to the one who wronged us. It’s you, not they, who are hurt by your unwillingness to forgive. You keep picking up and carrying the weight, and they bind you to the past, robbing you of joy and life and peace.
Every time we gather here, we say the Lord’s Prayer. We pray, Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. It’s at the heart of the church- forgiveness. It’s central to Jesus’ character. He forgave from the cross, he met people caught in judgment and sin and forgave them. Forgiveness: the key to the kingdom. If you’re carrying a stone, big or small, it’s time to let it go. Take the first step and acknowledge it to God. Lay it in God’s hands, leave it on the altar and say, “God please take these things from my past. Do something good with hem and help me to let them go.”
There’s a prayer that many of you probably know. It’s helped me over the years to let go of big and little stones. It’s called the serenity prayer. Most of us just know the short version of it. I’m going to close with the full version, written by Reinhold Niebuhr in 1934.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as the pathway to peace, taking as he did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that he will make all things right if I surrender to his will so that I may be reasonably happing in this life, and supremely happy with him forever and ever in the next. Amen.